Jerry: It was the major shift that initiated everything for me -- the life and art changes resulted from the shift. I began creating the sculptures 15 or more years later. They were created simply for the joy and mystery of discovery. They are very whimsical and interactive and have many mechanical devices—there are surprises and hidden compartments to explore. The sculptures were the celebratory by-product of the more important shift.

The shift took me away from the discipline of active doing (painting). I was then involved in a new kind of discipline – the discipline of conscious being. This was a shift that took me into a deeper relationship with the formless creative spirit behind inspiration. I also believe the shift that I had given myself to is larger than my individual experience. It is a shift that is emerging as a collective experience expressing itself – not just in art but also in every other discipline. What is coming through the collective psyche as inspiration seems to be expanding our small ideas about ourselves and our world. The shift is larger than anything we might be trying to hold in place or define as our identity. If we are paying attention, this shift will not let us rest in our complacency for very long. I think this is the reason for so much unrest in the world at this time.

In terms of my own journey – my shift was a response within this larger context. For whatever reason, in the late 70’s I sensed the need to open to a more formless and expansive creative experience. The New York Art Scene was a socially acceptable heaven in the late 70s.’ However, I felt no alternative but to turn away from it completely, in order to find grounding, deeper understanding and some larger creative context. In 1979 after destroying my large body of work (some of which can be seen in the Parabola video, In The Hands of Alchemy: The Life and Art of Jerry Wennstrom) and giving everything I owned away, I gave up painting completely for over 15 years. Having given myself to such a complete void on an external level, I proceeded to take life as it came, without interference. Living this way took me into some of the most undesirable and uninhabitable areas of the personal and the collective psyche that I could have explored. Paradoxically, my willing participation in these areas of discovery was rewarded with liberation, beauty and inspiration. I discovered that the most precious gifts are most often hidden in the areas we would rather not explore.

Inspiration was and is a very illusive mystery. In a sense, I gave myself to exploring the holy science of the inspired moment, separate from any form — art or otherwise. The mystery and questions for me became, what were the conditions surrounding that quantum leap that brought an inspired moment to life? And then—how could I give all of my life to the experience of this inspired freedom. Leaping into the void, as I did, was an intuitive decision. I sensed this single act would set in motion the right conditions that would require me to look to the source of inspiration for everything I needed creatively. My intuition proved to be correct and life began to unfold in a new way, which was to include creatively tending all aspects of my life with equal attention.

The initial shift that occurred was and continues to be the most important event of my life. I am convinced that high art and the cutting edge of the creative human experience can only be accessed through a direct relationship to the source. The absence of any interface and outrageous trust in something unseen are required of this relationship. It is in our willingness to courageously turn and walk into those areas of consciousness where our identity as an ego may come undone that we have the potential to find our own true life. The personal and collective ego does everything in its power to resist this possibility. The ego interprets any radical departure from a personal or cultural fix as sure death to its existence – and it is entirely correct in this assessment Something old and calcified must die; yet, it is in this dying that we are able to bring forth the inspired life that is our birthright.

Jerry: As I said earlier, the greatest gifts are often hidden in the life experiences that challenges or frighten us. It is clear to me now, that some essential template of understanding crystallized out of my exploration into this area of experience. It is this basic template that inspires and poetically informs any deeper meaning that one might find in my sculptures. I don’t feel the magic of inspiration is something I necessarily control in relation to my sculptures. Something inadvertently dropped into place with the original shift. It seems to have a life of its own; both in the art I create and as an expression in world. I see a complete mythos forming, which looks identical to the original template in the particular way my story is being perceived and in the kind of attention I am getting as an artist in the world.

I find it interesting that the sarcophagus-like sculptures I am creating and my story, as it has emerged in the world, translates the fullness of this experience. Some people stand before my coffin-like boxes and their initial experience is fear. Just yesterday a man visiting from St Louis was standing in the large studio that inhabits 13 of my sculptures and said, “You know -- if someone was not in a very good state of mind they might be a little frightened by your art ” Clearly, there are some people who see my sculptures as spooky and death-like. Paradoxically, they also dispense gifts; they are whimsical, playful and full of life. For those who can go beyond their initial fear and interact with the pieces, they have the potential to walk away joyful, inspired and bearing gifts. In a metaphorical sense, this is true for all of us when we are confronted with any experience that frightens us. We can either grow larger by opening fully to the experience or we can shrink back in avoidance, adding power to what will become a growing shadow of fear. I might add - meaning is a very illusive entity and I hope I have not gilded the lily with too intellectual an explanation of my art. This is the poetic understanding that came later.

Jerry: Yes, I think they are completely related – not just in a literal sense but, more importantly, in a metaphorical sense. “Death” is unavoidable and interwoven into the cyclical nature of creation. If we examine the subtle cycles in our own lives we will see how there are equal amounts of light and dark -- fullness and emptiness. Like the phases of the moon, there are times when we can access our fullness and shine brightly. At these times all of who we are becomes available and we are able to share our fullness with the world. At the opposite end of the cycle, the light disappears altogether and we must surrender to the natural darkness. This moment might be seen as the death of the light if we are attached only to the brightness. Paradoxically, this absolute darkness is also where the light begins its cyclical return. In our culture we are not taught to embrace darkness and death. We do everything in our power to hide or deny any expression of darkness in our lives. Rather than being present to the full experience of death - reverently receiving its gifts, we fear this aspect of the cycle. We fear it individually and culturally. Fear will always mutate and create a grosser expression of the original experience. The form fear takes then becomes unavoidable as a cultural phenomenon expressing itself in the world. A good example in America of how our denial of death has manifest is in the way we send our young men off to war to kill or be killed and censor the reality of their return home in coffins and body bags. As a result of our personal denial and censorship war is reduced to a shallow idea expressed in the language of political agendas and propaganda. Continuing this denial as individuals or as a society can only create more of the same.

Seeing the pitfalls of denial and fear in myself, I saw no alternative but to reverently explore death as a metaphor and as a reality that had the potential to influence everything I did. I turned my creative attention in the direction of this curious aspect of possibility and I did this by staying open to all that came, naturally, into my life and by giving myself, fully, to everything I perceived as death to my ego-identity as an artist. If art is to deliver all of one’s reality onto the solid ground of a more courageous, meaningful and inspired life (which is what I believe it should do), then it was my own creative exploration into death that did this for me. The gift of this experience, the understanding and the art that I have created since, was and is the best I have to offer as an artist and as a human being. In retrospect, I find it both paradoxical and comical that “dying” of my identity as an artist has done more to bring my art and story to life in the real world than painting and showing publicly has ever done And this, too, is part of the mystery of death and renewal - a gift that can only come from reverently exploring the territory and in the end, by surrender alone.

Jerry: I think we all have an interest in human interaction and relationships – even if we choose to be reclusive, we do so in relation to our understanding of ourselves and the people in our lives. Understanding the minds and spirits of those we interact with on a daily basis is something most of us are involved with -- perhaps some more than others. We must all do our best to understand relationship and the nature of the human spirit. The best way to go about this is to understand ourselves first. The only alternative to personal inquiry and self-awareness is to live a mindless life and to create more useless suffering for ourselves and for those we would be much happier loving. The wisdom acquired from deeply understanding our human nature offers the only freedom there is. I just read a wonderful quote by C.G. Jung, “Wisdom is the comforter in all suffering.” Wisdom accesses what is most beautiful in the human spirit and allows us to actually behave in the way we would most like to behave. There is also a practical dimension to wisdom. It makes it possible to live the life we would most like to live and brings our dreams to life by removing the unnecessary obstacles that are created by thoughtless actions.

Jerry: The most important thing I learned was how to tap into the real magic of life in a way that wasn’t dependent on material advantage or creative form. I learned that I was not in control and that I could trust, access and co-create with something larger than my will, intelligence and good intentions. There was and is the inevitable loneliness that comes with following one’s heart. There are no reference points when we no longer look to mainstream ideas and beliefs for guidance and single heartedly trust our one-on-one relationship with the mystery.

The ability to go one’s own way allows for a new kind of relationship with the world. Contrary to what one might think; destroying my art, giving all I owned away, celibacy and trusting the universe to take care of me allowed for a way to relate to the world that was not based on fear, co-dependence or personal need. I trusted something larger than our humanness, with all of our weakness and insecurity. I gave to others unconditionally, expecting nothing in return - all the while tending the next moment of possibility that would carry my life. Obviously others gave to me in return, for which I was and am very grateful, yet, I never asked anyone for anything. There were no deals being made and no expectations. I certainly experienced moments of doubt living this way. I never would have been able to continue this strange and lonely journey if I had not experienced the magic that kept my life going, both materially and inspirationally.

It has been 25 years since I destroyed my art and began this strange journey. Since that time my life and work have expanded outward to include a larger community in the world, yet my life continues to be carried by the same principal of trust and surrender. It is clear to me from the work we are doing with others that many people see this way of being in the world as important at this time. Many of the people who are interested in my story and the work my wife, Marilyn, and I are doing have opened or are opening to this same principal as it applies to their own lives.

Jerry: I think the uncomplicated way the book came about and the gentle way it is finding its way in the world at this time is a big part of the message of the book. I never identified with being a writer and actually had written very little before this book. Connie Shaw, the publisher of Sentient Publications asked me if I might be interested in writing a book about my life. I felt the timing of this request was perfect in relation to what was going on in my life so I said, "yes."

There was a documentary film made about my life and art the year before, so more and more people were taking an interest my story and my art. I have always kept my life open to others and there were people coming quite regularly to our house to talk and see my art. There was something about the choices I made and the life I lived that resonated with what many people were feeling within themselves. Others often found aspects of healing and inspiration in my journey and my art, which I shared freely. I spoke and told personal stories that would relate to the particular struggle that a visitor might be having. I was feeling overwhelmed with the growing numbers of people coming into my life and felt I couldn’t continue meeting one-on-one and remain fully present with each person. I had a sense of what moved and inspired others in relation to my story. I knew it was not necessarily me personally they were interested in, but the mythic quality of my journey as it related to their own. The possibility of having a book available which would allow me to share the stories and color pictures of my art with those interested in my life seemed like a given solution.

My book came easily. It is written as a series of short stories and intuitive insights gained by living the life I have lived. Story telling is an ancient art form and has a way of allowing the mystery to poetically speak for itself. I have personally been encouraged and inspired by other people’s unique stories, so my hope for my book is that it will do the same for others deeply involved in their own unique journeys.

Jerry: My dream has always been to touch the world in some significant way as an artist. I am at a place in my life where my art and life are reemerging in the world in a way that seems to have a life of its own. There are two art books due out this year that feature my art and life story. The plan by one author, Dolores Tarzan Ament, is to coordinate a museum exhibition of the artists featured in her new book titled “Dark Visions.” I trust the timing of the events going on in my life at this time. These events are unfolding just as they should and I wouldn’t know how to better direct the process even if I could. My dream is to remain watchful and see what the next moment might bring and how best to respond to what comes. I hope to stay open and aware enough to allow the spirit of the time to flow freely through everything I do. If I can accomplish this, I believe all else will come with the territory.

Jerry: On the best of days I allow as much time as possible for something I call wandering. There is no routine to wandering and the results are unpredictable so it is difficult to give you an example of an average day. Of course if you were a fly on the wall watching me go about my day you might find it a little comical. Wandering through the day, giving attention to what I am most drawn to or what occurs naturally in the course of the day allows for the surprise elements of some unseen “whole” to fall into place. Even the little things count and the best of creation finds inspiration in this wandering.

This way of life requires a fierce commitment and does not come easy. In the course of our lives there are many voices, insecurities and expectations clamoring for our attention. I have done everything in my power and have made every sacrifice to create a life where my time is my own. This freedom has nothing to do with having or not having money. If we think it is money that will make us secure and free we will never have enough. I have not had much money in my life and it has not mattered. Instead, establishing time in one’s life has everything to do our priorities and with choosing time over things, sensate distractions and the unnecessary extras in life. Having established this priority, I trust life in its scarcity and in its abundance and look for meaning in the case of either event.

This same principal applies in the creation of my art. What I need often comes into my life. The challenge is often recognizing the gifts when they come, especially, when they don’t necessarily match my ideas of what I think I want or need. Wandering is a creative process, where the timely arrival of an object can inspire a whole new art piece. One of my most recent art pieces called Walking Through was created this way. Last fall someone gave me an antique casket cart they had purchased at an auction many years ago. “Walking Through” was entirely created around this inspiring gift. The conscious act of wandering brings to light the small gifts and ideas, which somehow contribute to the larger whole. It has worked out better for me to wander than any creative strategy or fixed priority might have. Even when my beautiful wife, Marilyn, and I are on the road doing our film presentations and workshops for long periods of time, I have found there is a way to wander within the rather limiting activity of schedules and arrangements. There is a certain freedom that comes with being on the road, open and vulnerable, meeting new people and seeing how there is perfection to their arrival in our lives in relation to what might be going on at that particular moment.

I will, however, admit that sometimes my wandering drives Marilyn a little crazy- especially when I make decisions that disrupt an existing plan or when I am of no help, whatsoever, at getting us to the next place we need to be. I offer a grateful bow to Marilyn for her uncanny ability to get us to any place in any city on time. She laughs at me when I express my appreciation for her ability, as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do, and for her it is. She is also an amazing singer, teacher and workshop facilitator and I couldn’t imagine how I would do all that I am doing without her by my side, doing the work right along with me.

My wandering during an average day might actually bore you if I were to give you all the details. I wake at 3:00am, I make a cup of tea and spend a period of quiet morning time in my meditation tower -- and then I wander through my day. This is, generally, how my day goes.